Never The Same Again

When you heart shrinks

And you sat back and think

Where has all the time gone

The things you fought for

Have become a bore

Dead in your inner core

And the years have just disappeared

When people you believed in

Have disappointed and caved

You must turn to the one

Who has kept you sane

When you look back

You can clearly see His hand

But something has changed in you

You are no longer the same

You take a deep breath

Remembering all the storms you’ve walked through

All that they have taught you

And you know that you will never

Ever

Ever

Be the same

But you know you will be more than okay

And you know that He was with you

All the way

You sit satisfied

That He holds your hand

Just hold on and don’t let go!

Stop chasing perfection…

Sometimes you have to be in the crowd to grow and to understand humanity with all its imperfections, brokenness and faults. The sooner you realise that perfection does not exist the faster the growth. If you live separated from all that is and from all that makes us human then you will not grow. Be thankful for everything, the good and the bad because both are meant for your growth. Human nature always strives for perfection, perfect lives, perfect families, perfect body, perfect home, perfect everything…that’s just plain exhausting!

It’s 2020, live fully in every moment.

If I ever catch myself feeling sorry for myself for whatever reason, I close my eyes and think of people sitting without love in hospitals and in their homes or sick people and children with no one to truly care for them then I realize that I have much. I have so much. You have a lot, so stop chasing perfection rather chase joy and be happy today. Life is short to live looking at all the imperfections and flaws in others and yourself. Get up, dust yourself off and get going.  Make it happen for you and allow yourself to embrace it all.

Ecclesiastes 7 v 20

20 Indeed, there is no one on earth who is righteous,
    no one who does what is right and never sins.

Philippians 3 v 12-14

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Winters Over

The smell of oak

And pine trees

The crunch of dead leaves

The coolness of air

and the fresh new breeze

Letting us know

That winters over

Spring is here

The whispers from the stream

Whisper

As you sit and think of many dreams

There are times you think you might

Fall apart

Then grace falls down

On the grey heart

Winters over now

Its over

Spring is here

Behind her smile

What lies behind her smile

Is a heart that was too open

A spirit crushed

By life

And all is challenges

And changes

What lies behind her smile

Is a quiet strength gained

From hard work

And rejection

Strength and wisdom

No one can take away

What lies behind her smile

Is a determination

Not to be left behind

But to pursue her dreams

Despite rejection

She moves forward

What lies behind her smile

Is her brokenness

That’s built within her and has become part of her

A gentleness

An understanding of some things

But never all

What lies behind her smile

Is a knowing That He has to be there

Even when He feels like a stranger

A sense of knowing

The essence of growing

Into a strong woman

Who stands steady

Despite the winds and storms

Of invisible prejudice and racism

Like a firm oak

Planted In values

In something That sometimes she does not even fully know

What lies behind her smile

Is Hope

 

Blackbird

black wings

Black bird

He reached into the depth of it

And there he found what was left of it

A soul that poured out

Clawed out

A living testimony

Crawling out a dark hole

She gave the best of it

Like a black bird

To rise again

Scarred

A living testimony

Strong like a phoenix

A flame sparked

She opened her mouth

And called out from the dark

Echoed voice

Just echoes…

Of a soul

Seeking

Freedom

Blackbird

You have to learn to fly

Again

No Time Left – RIP Philani Thusi

Sometimes I am given a vision, a thought or words for someone who has passed…this will be the 4th poem of this kind. I have not published the others on my site. Whether I was close or not…the words or vision comes without any effort from me. These are the words I felt…for Philani Thusi an ex learner. A young person who took his own life this past week.

No time left…

When you looked at me

You didn’t see the pain

That broke me

That swallowed me whole

It took my soul

So much brokenness

I spiraled down

Left with no confidence

 

How much I wanted to be accepted by you

A million likes and reviews

A guess you didn’t know the depth

The depth of how far down it went

It’s too late

I’ve walked through the gate

Signed in

Checked in

No second chance to return

To let you know the depth of

My yearn….ING

Longing

For freedom

Of all the pain

That no one knew I was suffering

I’m gone now

 

But please

Don’t doubt His existence

He loves me…

His persistence

He chased my soul

I’m gone now

I’m made whole

He is the ultimate judge

Remember

Life is not forever

I’m gone

Make your life count

I’m out…

Written for Philani Thusi… From Heritage Academy, Kwa-Zulu Natal, South Africa

Sanity

When you hear about so much pain, people who have lost loved ones, I cannot imagine or fathom the depth of brokenness and the feeling of loss. Do not runaway from God. He is Jehovah Nacham, The Lord your comforter. Psalm 56 v 8.Picture for sanity poem 2Picture for Sanity Poem

SANITY

Where is sanity

Buffeted by wind and waves

Not in control

Feeling alone

Feeling overwhelmed

Wondering why

Yet you are in my mind, my soul

My stability

My sanity and peace

When things just don’t make sense

And this world…

When will it embrace you

Tossed about

But afloat…

 

Jesus!

You are my sanity

My number one remedy

It’s you who died for me

And I’m set free

Through all the pain

I know I will gain

Victory

Immeasurably!

 

When I was broken into pieces on the floor

I heard you calling to me knocking at my door

You mended

Protected

Elevated

Me

You see…and

 

I am forever

Grateful

Thankful

Praise – full

In this mouth

I will never doubt

Because Jesus

My sanity

Remedy

Paid a hard price for me

 

No turning back brother, sister

Mother, father

No use looking

There is no other

Stop wasting time

Living in your grime

There is no other Divine

Love

Complete love

That goes beyond and above

 

No one is given more than one life

Why you want keep living in your strife

Make Him your remedy

He is waiting

Anticipating

Your return

Stop deliberating!

Stop looking the other way

No other day like today

 

Don’t worry and don’t be afraid

He has already paid the price

No need to be dismayed

You can start debt free in His grace

All you got to do is to start the race

 

Jesus my sanity

Make Him your number one remedy.